This article first appeared in Executive Support Magazine, a global training publication for administrative professionals. While it focuses especially on executive assistants, it will be relevant to anyone dealing with grief at work, supporting others through loss, or wanting to help create a more informed response to grief in all its many forms.

A list of trusted books, organisations, and resources on grief and loss.

A thought for dark days.

There are no stages in grief. And certainly not five of them. There are many myths and misunderstandings when it comes to the complex world of grief and bereavement. Perhaps the idea that as a grieving person, you can expect to go through five different emotional states and in this particular sequence, has become one of the most pervasive and confusing.

Whether you’re going through loss yourself or helping someone through it, here are 12 thoughts that might help you make sense of what’s happening.